Become Your Own Matchmaker: 8 Easy Steps For Attracting Your Perfect Mate (2009)
Become Your Own Matchmaker: 8 Easy Steps for Attracting Your Perfect Mate (2009)
3.53 of 5 Votes: 4
1416559949 (ISBN13: 9781416559948)
Atria Books
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I picked up this book because my friend is a fan of Patti Stanger and the Millionaire Matchmaker show. It's very heteronormative, monogamy-based, and treats landing a husband as the ultimate goal. Here are some things I've learned:*Patti Stranger is a devoted fan of astrology and colonics/cleansers. "These days it's not uncommon for a group of women to treat themselves to a good colonic...It really makes you feel fresh and new to shed all those nasty toxins that are clawing around inside you." Ugh. Who are these women?*"Exotic" women like Halle Berry and Angelina Jolie are "not considered classically beautiful, but their features are presented in a unique way." Ouch.*I tried measuring to see if I have the "perfect figure" that Stranger waxes rhapsodic about, which is a waist/hip ratio of 0.7 percent. Mine is 1.1 percent. I guess it's a miracle I have a boyfriend at all, huh? She suggests buying push-up jeans or swimsuits with butt padding if you don't meet the ratio. *By month 9 of a relationship, you should be gunning for a proposal.*Men don't like women who aren't feminine enough, have short hair, or have red hair.*Never move in with a guy before you have a diamond ring on your finger and a wedding date.So...yeah. There is dating advice in here that will work for many women, and some of it was quite interesting, but the little blurbs I posted above kept pinging away at my soul. At least she says men love women who can cook (yay, I have a chance after all!) People underestimate these relationship get-your-guy advice books: I started reading them after a break-up, not to get a new man but because most of them advise various exercises to rid yourself of past relationship baggage and clarify your intentions before proceeding with the pursuit-of-him steps. Since you can portions of the book instead of the whole book (in e-books), I was tempted to just buy the first two chapters for the Dating Detox and finding my type, but then elected to buy the whole thing.I do think some people underestimate this book; most of it is sound advice, if some a little biased and we wished we were past these old ideas. However, they are still alive not because Patti Stanger says to abide by them (for your own sake in not fighting the larger battle, she implies). Like therapy, you don't have to take all the advice. Take what you like and leave the rest.I actually got a fair portion of what I needed from the book. I did try the Dating Detox and really thought about the issues at hand (of what and who I want). I think it was good advice to consider not only what my type was, but what type I am. While I will not be following all of her advice, I thought it was all interesting to consider (I myself would never do the non-threatening ultimatum for an engagement, but I could see how she constructed it and how this strategy might work elsewhere. As well, I am never opposed to have tools in my toolbox even if I do not intend to use them). Maybe this is because I read other reviews first (thus I was prepared), but I did not find her suggestion on some women needing to lose weight as insulting as other people did: not only is it a sad reality that many men are opposed - if not insulting regarding - women's weight, but she advocated the golden ratio which is more akin to being appropriate to your own size. Yes, I disliked even thinking about it, especially in relation to myself, but I must admit the realism of that advice.The piece of advice I know for certain I will take (aside from the detox and just internal considerations) is the "no sex without a relationship." It's not because I believe it is the only way to get the long-term relationship I want (and her advice with it has merit, even if it doesn't work for everyone), but because it was me. I often felt I had sex too early in a relationship (and did have trouble for it) but I couldn't put my finger on what it was or how to articulate it. After reading about that, I now know what I want and I no longer feel like it is an unreasonable request. I feel more confident about putting my foot down and asking for someone to wait until I am more comfortable.While on the surface, it can appear shallow, this book is far more well-thought out than many reviewers give it credit. I am suspicious of anyone who refers to a particular book as life-changing, and I wouldn't say this book changes my mind. I would say that it will make you think about what you want and how to get it. Is that not why you would be searching for this book in the first place?
Interesting, not sure I agree with everything, but then I am still single...
Full of helpful tips.
Very entertaining!
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